Running Scared
by AuthoressRhia
Summary: The Circle Tower is the only home Evaria has ever known, but her misguided trust in the man who was once her friend has forced her to run; away from the Tower, away from the templars, away from the only place she has ever felt she belonged. Yet change is coming to Thedas, and everyone has their part to play.
1. Running

Evaria watched in horror as Jowan sank the blade of the knife into his flesh, using the power of his own blood to fling the First Enchanter and the Knight Commander across the room.

Jowan looked at her and Lily, looking scared, guilty... and invigorated. "I... I had to do something! They were going to hurt you!"

"Jowan, how could you do this?" asked Evaria. "You lied to us both."

"I admit, I-I dabbled. I thought it would make me a better mage."

"Blood magic is evil, Jowan," said Lily. "It corrupts people… changes them."

Ignoring the conversation between Jowan and Lily, Evaria rushed to First Enchanter Irving's side. "Are you all right, First Enchanter?" she asked, kneeling to help him to his feet. When she stood again, Jowan was gone.

"I knew it," spat Greagoir. "Blood magic. But to overcome so many… I never thought him capable of such power."

"He lied to me," muttered Evaria. "He's been lying to me for years…"

"None of us expect this," said Irving softly. "Are you all right, Greagoir?"

"As good as can be expected, given the circumstances," replied Greagoir. "Lily, you have helped a blood mage. Look at all he's hurt! I have no choice but to send you Aeonar. Get her out of my sight!"

Greagoir turned to Evaria. "Your antics have made a mockery of this circle! This cannot go unpunished." Greagoir sighed. "There is but one option. You will be sent to Aeonar, with Lily."

"I didn't know about any of this!" protested Evaria. "I only thought-"

"You expect us to believe a word you say?" asked the knight commander. He turned to Irving. "I told you this Surana girl would be nothing but trouble."

The first enchanter looked at Evaria, and she could read the disappointment on his face like words in a book. "I am sorry it had to come to this," was all he said.

Two large, armored templars stepped forward to take hold of Evaria's arms, when a bright flash of light erupted from the hall beyond, filling the room. As sounds of a struggled floated into the chamber, the knight-commander and the first enchanter both turned to try to see what was going on.

"Maybe someone caught him," said the templar on Evaria's right.

Evaria took a deep breath. This was the only opportunity she would ever get. It was her only chance. She wrenched her arms free from the templars' loosened grips and ran from the room, away from the templars and the mysterious light, as fast as her legs could carry her.

She was almost at the front hall when she collided into someone. She looked up into the face of a templar: Cullen. They locked eyes for a single moment, Cullen's gaze drawn to the hall behind her as he heard the shouting that followed her.

Evaria lowered her head. This was it, then.

"She went that way!" Cullen cried, rousing the guards who stood by the main doors of the tower.

Cullen glanced at her one last time as she sunk into the shadows. Evaria looked up at him, a silent 'Thank you,' passing between them, before Cullen ran in the opposite direction, the other templars trailing him.

For the first time since Evaria had set foot in the tower twenty years ago, the doors stood in solitude. There was no one to stop her. Evaria froze, her fingers curled around the handle of the door. Could she really do this? She had never known a life outside the Circle.

Evaria closed her eyes, steeling herself. It was her only choice. She took a deep breath, and opened the door.

Evaria stopped short outside. Lake Calenhad. How could she have forgotten about the lake? She glanced over to the dock, where a lone templar stood, next to the only boat that could take her away from here.

She walked in the opposite direction, to the other side of the tower, until she was hidden from the templars' sight. Evaria summoned a fireball, and she could hear a shout as the templar came running to investigate. She circled back around the tower, relieved to see the boat unguarded. She jumped in a grabbed the oars, praying to the Maker she had enough strength to make it across Lake Calenhad.


	2. Alienated

Denerim was busy, business as usual. Evaria kept her head low, trying to blend in with the crowd, keeping an eye out for mages and templars. Her phylactery was in Denerim somewhere, and finding it before the templars was her only chance to escape them for good.

She hoped.

Along the road, Evaria had stopped in a small village, ditching her recognizable robes and trading them for plain clothes she stole from a laundry bask. She felt guilty; but she'd had no other choice.

She turned a corner, heading toward the market district, when a sound to her left caught her attention.

"State your business here," said a severe voice, belonging to a woman standing outside of the chantry.

Evaria pressed herself against a wall, pausing to listen to the conversation between the sister and the templar.

"I was told to bring this phylactery here for safe keeping," said the templar, holding a small wooden box.

"I didn't think we were expecting a phylactery delivery," said a younger sister, standing near the severe woman.

"He's late," said the first sister, her hands fisted on her hips.

"I was held up on the way here," said the templar. "Darkspawn attacked on the road. I almost didn't make it at all."

Evaria glanced skyward. Thank the Maker. Everything had a good side, even the Blight. She unglued herself from the stone wall, walking casually toward the templar. She had just reached him and the sister when someone ran down the street toward Evaria, bumping into her, sending her crashing into the templar before landing on the ground.

The force was just enough to make him stumble, dropping the box as he attempted to hand it to the older sister. The box fell hard, and Evaria was certain she heard what lay within shatter.

"You fool!" Yelled the templar. "Do you have any idea what you've just done?"

"S-Sorry," stuttered Evaria, climbing to her feet, her heart pounding in her chest. "I didn't mean-"

The templar raised his hand, intending to strike her, but the older sister stepped between them. "Calm yourself!" she cried. "The maker teaches us forgiveness; show it here."

The templar growled, but lowered his hand. "Get out of my sight, before I change my mind!"

Evaria nodded, then turned and ran in the opposite direction, finally stopping for breath at the other end of the market district. She leaned against a wall, one hand over her heart. Maker, she needed to get out of Ferelden.

"Hey, what are you doing there?" asked a voice to Evaria's right. She looked up to see two city guards standing there, staring at her.

"I don't recognize her," one of the guards said. "What should we do with her?"

"She's an elf, right? She's probably lost. Let's just stick her in the Alienage," the other guard answered.

The first guard shrugged, and as one, the two of them moved in to flank Evaria.

"Wait, you don't understand," Evaria protested as they dragged her to a gated opening in a nearby wall. "I'm not from Denerim, I'm just-"

The guards weren't listening to her. "I hear the battle at Ostagar is taking place tomorrow," the first guard said to his companion.

"I'm glad we're up here instead of down there," said the second guard. "I hate the thought of fighting those darkspawn. I hear some of them are as big as a house."

"Yeah, blue and ugly things," agreed the first guard. "I feel sorry for those poor fools in the south."

Evaria couldn't get a word in edgewise, so she gave up. For men having such a casual conversation, their hold on her arms was tight, and before she knew it, Evaria was wandering the streets of the Elven Alienage.

When she came to a large, old tree in the center of the alienage, she stopped. Something tugged at her insides, and Evaria was sure she should know exactly what she was looking at, but couldn't quite figure it out. It left her feeling just a little hollow. She took another step forward, willing herself to remember something.

"Hey, get of here! You should know by now you're not welcome," snapped a red haired Elven woman, who stood near the great tree. "Wait, you're not a human. Sorry about that; we've been a bit on edge here lately."

"Don't worry about it," said Evaria. "I know how that is."

"I don't think I recognize you," said the woman. "I'm Shianni."

"I'm Evaria, and I'm not from around here," said Evaria. "The guards seemed to think I'm lost, and just threw me in here."

"You're not exactly stuck here," said the woman. "Why not just walk back out?"

"They're already suspicious of me. I can't afford that kind of attention right now."

"Oh, I understand," said the elf. She broke into a wide smile. "I know of another way out, though. Come with me."

Shianni led Evaria through the streets of the alienage, past several rundown buildings. As the passed a templar, Evaria's steps faltered, and Shianni looked at her. "Is something wrong?" she asked.

Evaria shook her head. "No, not at all."

Shianni followed her gaze to the templar. "He won't bother you. I think he's blind. You have a problem with templars?"

"No, I don't have a problem with them," said Evaria, quickening her pace to match Shianni's. _They just have a problem with me._

Shianni was silent as they came to a part of the alienage that was even more neglected than the rest of it. Shianni gestured to an alley that ran along the back wall of the alienage, where enough debris had collected to form a kind of stairway.

"None of the guards know this place is here," said Shianni. "The docks aren't very far away. You can leave Ferelden behind in no time."

"Thank you so much for your help, Shianni," said Evaria. "I can't tell you how much I appreciate it."

"Think nothing of it," said Shianni. "I'm always glad to help a fellow elf trying to avoid those shemlen fools. May the Creators watch over you, friend."

Evaria scrambled up the wall, sitting atop it for a moment to catch her breath. Bracing herself for the fall, she slipped off the stone wall, landing in a disheveled heap on the ground. Evaria stood and brushed herself off before heading in the direction of the docks.

Evaria didn't have a single coin with her. There was no way she could pay for passage away from Ferelden. Instead, she scanned the vessels, looking for one that looked the least protected. She would have to stow away.

One of the ships only had a few men standing beside it on the dock, talking amongst themselves. Carefully and quietly, Evaria snuck aboard, hiding herself amongst some barrels.

Evaria didn't know long she had sat there, enjoy the few moments of peace she had stolen, before she heard the sound of footsteps approaching her hiding place.

"Well, well," said a voice above her. "What do we have here?"


	3. Anew

"Well, here we are," said the captain as the ship came into port. "Welcome to Kirkwall, sweet thing."

"How long are we staying in port?" asked Evaria.

"Probably not long," said Isabela. "_You_, on the other hand, can stay as long as you'd like."

Evaria looked up at her. "What do you mean?"

"Your debts are repaid," said Isabela. "We're even, sweet thing."

"Isabela... I can't thank you enough," Evaria began, but Isabela raised a hand to silence her.

"Wait to thank me until you've decided whether you like it here or not," she said. "If you don't, well, I'll be back in Kirkwall before you know it, and maybe we can strike up another agreement."

Isabela had been kind enough to let Evaria stay aboard the _Siren's Call_, as opposed to turning her in. All she asked was that Evaria do her share as part of the crew. She was so thankful to be getting away from Ferelden, Evaria was happy to do whatever Isabela asked. It wasn't as bad as Evaria would have thought a few weeks ago.

"Until we meet again, then," said Evaria.

"And we most certainly will," Isabela replied.

Evaria joined the throng of people heading into the vast city of Kirkwall. She listened to the conversation around her as she walked. As she passed into the city, she heard some of the guards talking.

"We'll have to stop letting people in, soon," said one of the guards. "Close the city."

Perhaps she had arrived just in time.

Evaria found herself carried on a current of people, not daring to stop for fear she would be trampled. When she found a small, empty alley to her right, she slipped away from the crowd of people, sighing in relief at her temporary refuge.

As Evaria watched the people coming and going through what she later learned was Lowtown, a realization dawned on her. She had never really considered where she would go or what she would do once she had escaped Ferelden. The fact that she was in a strange place with no plan or purpose settled on her like a heavy weight, pulling her down.

"Maker," she muttered into the empty alley. How very, very stupid she was.

The sound of movement behind her prompted Evaria to turn, staring into the empty darkness of the alley. Straining her eyes in an attempt to discern what was hidden in the shadows, she took a step backward, feeling an imminent need to get away. Just as she was about to turn back to rejoin the crowd in the streets, someone grabbed her from behind, pinning her arms to her sides, a knife pressed to her throat.

"Don't make a sound," the man who held her advised. "It will be your last."

Another man stepped forward from the back of the alley. "Just hand over whatever coin you've got, and we'll let you go."

"I-I don't have much," Evaria said. "Just take it."

The second man reached into the small pouch at Evaria's waist, removing the few coins she had.

"This can't be all," said the man. "Where's the rest?"

"I told you, I don't have anymore," said Evaria.

"Leave her be," said the man who was holding her. "Let's just get out of here."

Slowly, the man let go of her, his eyes never leaving her. Evaria was just starting to get her breathing under control again when the second man roughly introduced a rock to the side of her head.

"Are you all right?" a muffled voice asked.

Evaria's eyes flickered open slowly. She was only dimly aware of a hand gently shaking her shoulder. It probably belonged to the man leaning over her.

A relieved sigh escaped his lips. "I was starting to worry you wouldn't wake up," he said, and Evaria realized his voice was muffled because of the ringing in her ears.

The only answer Evaria could give was a low moan. She pushed herself up into a sitting position, and a fierce pain shot up her right arm.

"Hey, don't I know you?" asked the man, peering more closely at her face.

"What? Uh, no, I don't think so," said Evaria, trying to hide behind her hair. "I should go."

"Yes, I remember you from the Circle," he said.

"Could you say that a little louder?" snapped Evaria. "They didn't hear you in Orlais."

"Don't worry, there's no one around to hear us," said the man.

Her head finally beginning to clear, Evaria took a closer look at the man. It took a moment, but it was his blonde hair, tied up behind his head, that she finally recognized.

"I remember you," she said. "You're the one who kept running away from the tower. Anders, right?"

"And you're the one who helped a blood mage escape the templars. You've been free from the Circle longer than I have," said Anders. "Now do you believe that I won't give you up?"

"Do you think I'm really a blood mage?" asked Evaria.

"If you were, I doubt you would have let yourself be thrown down a flight of stairs in Darktown," said Anders. "So, no."

"Then I believe you," said Evaria. "Thank you, by the way. You could have walked right by me."

"I'm not the kind," said Anders. He looked down, noticing Evaria cradling her injured arm. "Come with me. I'll fix your arm."

Evaria followed Anders through the - streets? - of Darktown. It was a dismal place, dark, and it smelled something terrible. Anders led her to a small building, and gestured for her to sit down on a cot.

"Of course, if you'd prefer, you could heal it yourself," said Anders. "Some people are picky like that."

Evaria shook her head. "I was never any good at healing."

Anders laughed. "That's right, I remember now. You're better with fire. You almost set the entire apprentice quarters ablaze."

"But I didn't," Evaria reminded him "That's what counts. Where are we, anyway?"

"This is my clinic," Anders told her as he set to work on her arm. "I heal anyone who can't afford to get help anywhere else."

"That's very good of you," said Evaria, wincing as Anders's healing began to work.

"I do what I can?" Anders replied with a shrug. "How long have you been in Kirkwall?"

"I've only just arrived. Those thugs gave me a very warm welcome." Evaria flexed her arm, which already starting to feel better. "Thank you."

"I'm always happy to help, especially a fellow mage. Where are you staying? I'll take you there."

Evaria bit her lip and glanced downward, embarrassed at the memory of her foolishness. "I'm not staying anywhere, actually. I haven't had time to come up with a plan."

"You're welcome to stay here," said Anders. "I know it isn't much, but it's better than out there."

Evaria shook her head. "No, no I couldn't do that. I don't want to be an inconvenience."

"You wouldn't be," said Anders. "I can't let you fend for yourself, I know how hard it can be running from the circle. And I could use your help, here, in the clinic."

"I thought we had established that I'm rubbish with healing?"

"I can teach you," said Anders. "It isn't very difficult once you get the hang of it. I know you'll learn easily. I still remember what people said about your Harrowing."

Evaria thought for a moment. It was a plan, a good plan, and the only one she had. At least she would be doing something, would have a place, a purpose. The more she thought on it, the better it began to sound. "If you're sure it would be no trouble," she said again.

"Far from it," Anders assured her.

Evaria smiled at him. "I can't thank you enough, Anders. I will find a way to repay you."

She was so focused on what the future might have in store for her that she didn't notice Anders's gaze lingering on her when she turned away.


	4. Unsaid

"Where did you get this money, anyway?" asked Anders. He and Evaria were strolling through a market in Lowtown, in order to buy food.

"It's not something I'm proud of," said Evaria. "Let's leave it at that."

Anders looked at her, an eyebrow raised. Evaria looked up at him in confusion. Realization struck her, and she blushed.

"Maker, I didn't mean that!" she said, suddenly unable to meet his gaze. "I took a few coins from a collection plate outside the Chantry."

"There's no shame in that," argued Anders. "It's supposed to be used to help the less fortunate, isn't it?"

Evaria shrugged. He was right, for the most part.

"Oh no," muttered Anders. "Turn around."

"Why?" asked Evaria.

"There are templars ahead," he told her.

"They don't have any reason to be suspicious of us, do they?" Evaria asked. "If we just act normally..."

"I always think it's better to avoid them," said Anders. "They don't need a reason to be suspicious. We should split up, in case they think we're plotting. You go around that way, I'll go this way."

Anders pointed Evaria to a side street that circled into the market district without having to pass through the crowd of people in front of them. She stepped lightly, paying careful attention to her surroundings. She hadn't forgotten what had happened to her last time she was alone in Lowtown.

The street had several exits to her left. She glanced down each one before continuing. Hearing a noise, she stopped and looked up, staring down the street in front of her. Her skin prickled; she felt unusually cold, and something told Evaria to turn off of the street now, or she might regret it later.

When she came to the next exit, Evaria turned the corner to find herself face to face with a templar's chest plate. She squeezed her eyes shut, lowered her head and waited for the worst.

"Maker, not this again," said a familiar voice.

Evaria opened one eye, slowly raising her head to look at the templar standing in front of her. "Cullen?" Her voice was no more than a whisper.

He had closed his eyes, as if he were thinking about something, something that needed his full attention. "All this time and I'm still having visions…"

"Evaria!" Anders hissed, appearing behind Cullen. She looked at him, and he waved her over.

After one last glance at Cullen, Evaria caught up with Anders. They ran back to Darktown without stopping once.

"This place is crawling with templars anymore," said Anders, once they were safely back in his clinic. "I'm starting to worry we'll be carried back to the Circle, or worse."

"They must have been there for a reason," said Evaria. "They can't have been looking for us, or they would have been here, in Darktown."

"What happened in the alley, with that templar?" asked Anders. "He was just standing there."

"I think I... caught him by surprise."

"Why didn't you just run? I thought I heard you talking to him."

"It was just... something he said..." Evaria trailed off, remembering the look on Cullen's face when he had seen her. Something in him had changed.

In the eight years Evaria had known Cullen at the tower, she had gotten to know him very well. They did not always have occasion to speak, but they didn't need to; glances, gestures, casual movement. They had had entire conversations without ever saying a word. His presence in the tower had become a comfort to her, an anchor. He made the tower feel more like a home.

One of them always had a way of knowing when the other had a problem, always a tactic to cheer the other up. A comforting hand on a shoulder, a gentle smile, quiet words of solace when there was no one else around. He had been one of her closest friends, and Evaria could tell that something had happened.

Evaria was startled from her reverie when Anders snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Evaria?"

"What? I'm sorry, I was thinking." Evaria shook her head to clear it.

"I asked you what he said, that templar," said Anders. "What did he say that's so interesting?"

"Something about thieves," Evaria lied. Anders didn't know about her past with Cullen. He didn't need to. "It doesn't matter. He was just telling me to keep an eye out."

"Probably didn't realize he was talking to one," grinned Anders.

Evaria forced a smile to her lips. "Probably not."

"Didn't I tell you you'd be an expert healer in no time?" Anders asked her one night, as he closed the doors of the clinic.

"I wouldn't call myself an expert," said Evaria.

"I would," said Anders. "You've been a great help. We've been able to help twice as many people."

Evaria couldn't help but smile. She thrived on praise. "I'm happy to be doing something worthwhile."

"You're a very talented mage," Anders told her as he walked closer to her. "I'm surprised the templars weren't keeping a closer eye on you at the circle."

"I think they were," said Evaria. "They're a sneaky lot."

"I had a hard time keeping my eyes off you when we were at the circle, myself," said Anders, closing the space between them.

"What about now?" asked Evaria. Unable to decide whether she wanted to move closer or father away, she stood still.

"Now I can't stop staring," said Anders. "And I don't think I want to try."

Evaria didn't have an answer, didn't need one. When Anders leaned down to kiss her, she couldn't stop herself from kissing him back. She didn't want to.

He pulled away from her, a smile occupying his face. "I can think of a dozen reasons why I shouldn't have done that," he told her.

"I can think of a dozen more why you should have," Evaria told him.

Yet she could feel the secrets between them already, trying to end what had yet to begin.


End file.
